Genital Jousting

Genital Jousting Review (PC)

 For the purposes of transparency, this review was created using a code provided by the company or their respective PR company. The use of a review code does not affect my judgement of the game.

I was not sure what to be expecting when I got my first email with the title Genital Jousting in it, I then scoured the internet for videos because it noticed it was in early access. After checking some videos out of people playing it I still no idea what to expect. But, I have whipped out my review, but does the game provide a stiff competition or does it all go a bit floppy?

With a name like Genital Jousting you might not be expecting a story mode, however as it pulled out of early access a story mode was added. In this story you will be playing as John, a penis with a low self-esteem, who needs to attract a female to take to the fastly approaching reunion dance.

The story starts with John waking up from a dream about being bullied at school, and then realisation he doesn’t have long to secure a date to take to his reunion. You will start the comical events of getting John ready for work, which means showering, brushing his teeth (yes it informs you, this penis you are controlling has teeth), putting clothes on and cleaning up your apartment before getting the bus to work. But, soon the story becomes more around Johns masculinity and everything that comes with the character they are portraying with this penis on your screen. This ranges from the objectifying of woman and lashing out when he does not get what he wants.

Now, where the game does a great job of not taking it to the levels of being able to force John or even your multiplayer character into anyone – it needs to come with the caution it is not for everyone. This is because although they do this great job, I feel some people will still find the story and parts offensive and possibly problematic.

The gameplay of both the story mode and multiplayer are not all that different, only one is having fun with your friends. You will switch between both your head and your anus – yes these man-cannons have an anus between the balls which also seems to be used to eat things. If you are controlling the head you will pick things up which you can move around. Then if you are controlling the anus it will swallow things. So, basically in single player you will be carrying out your tasks that are placed on the screen as check-boxes, and in multiplayer you will be carrying out the objectives to win. Meaning the gameplay is basically making sure you are using the right end to solve puzzles or complete objectives.

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As mentioned outside of the single player you have the multiplayer element of the game, and this where the game really adds the extra few inches of length. The game offers both local and online multiplayer for 2 to 8 players. Firstly there is a 2-player Dating Mode where you and another player will have to work together to complete mini-games. There is a Traditional Mode that will basically see players trying to get their head into the anuses of other players to get points. Lastly in the more beefy Party Mode, think your traditional party games but played with a penis – which includes things like football (soccer) to competitive car washing to swallowing pills with the anus attached to your balls, and many more.

The presentation is Genital Jousting is great overall, and suits the humour that the game is portraying. Don’t worry you are not faced with photorealistic man-parts on the screen, the graphics are all cartoony. For the main part the visuals are all bright and colourful, but in the story mode they become more dull and musky – just like poor little John’s life. However, when playing online the title will keep the bright and vibrant colours flowing. Now the audio is what you would expect – constant dirty sound effects. So expect to hear things like slapping noises, ejaculation sounds and even the more disgusting sound of the banjo string snapping – which will surely make you wince if you’re a bloke. But, for me the best part of the audio comes in the single player narration. The soothing well spoken voice of a woman, but telling the story and denoting John’s feelings perfectly – sort of made me think of being read a bedtime story in how it is narrated. This just adds to the humour of this already amusing idea of the game.

The game has released with both controller and keyboard support. In the most part for the keyboard controllers they are what you would be expecting to use. The only real additions is for little parts of the game where you will need to use enter to headbutt and E to communicate – so if you play Keyboard the controls are nice and easy to pick up. The team have also moved these controls over the controller very well and assigned everything to the controller greatly. I personally found it a more comfortable fit using the controller, due to my history with console gaming.

Overall the story mode took me around an hour and half to complete, and where the story and presentation was amusing – there was some parts that might concern others and seem to be brushed under the carpet as fun. Once you have completed the story mode I really don’t think you would go back through it. The main girth of the game comes in the multiplayer modes that are on offer and the hours of fun it can provide especially if playing with friends. If progression is your thing, Genital Jousting’s online-mode sort of offers this in an unlock system providing more costumes for your member.


I never thought at the age of 32 I would be sat playing a game about a penis and laughing as much as I did, but that is what Genital Jousting brings with it. Now the main issue I think the game may face is the mature nature it brings with it – which has seen it already banned from Twitch. You may also get some strange looks from both family and friends when explaining what you have been playing and how much you laughed about it. I would definitely say the game wont be for everyone, you will need to go into the game with an open minded and a sort of juvenile mindset to really understand what the game offers, and enjoy the bizarre creation you are playing.

Version Reviewed: PC

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